Saturday, 25 May 2013

[Clotaku Club v1] 7. The Pubtaku Queen - Part 2

Oh those glorious thighs! I think I may have a new fetish now.

Translator: Narane
Editor: MadTix

Please enjoy~

The next day,

My classes had ended earlier, thanks to the shorter schedule on Tuesdays. I had been mucking about uselessly in the meantime, wondering to myself if there would be any consequences from Yeonji if I attended the club later than usual.

'There's going to be an intramural soccer game with Class 3 today... Maybe it's not too late to join.'

Back when the news of the soccer match was going around, I was still busy running errands for Yeonji. To this moment, I regret that I hastily declined the offer to join the match because I wasn't sure if I would have any free time today. Adding salt to that wound, most of my free time had been wasted hanging around with Yeonji rather than it being spent on any of my hobbies.

If I don't occasionally hang out with my classmates -- playing sports or going to karaoke with them or whatever -- I would forever bear the label of being the most boring guy in the class. Then they would reach the next natural question and go, 'Hey, what does that guy do in his free time?' And then my quiet life would be in danger.

...On that note, how does Yeonji act outside of the club? Being a Clotaku isn't simply about not letting others take notice of your hobbies; it's more about presenting yourself as someone who doesn't have those hobbies in the first place. To understand and perfectly blend in with those outside of the Otaku culture is the main goal of being a Clotaku.

...But it doesn't exactly make me proud that I believe something like that. Nevertheless, it led me to ponder about how Yeonji was doing in her class; the way she regularly talks like an Otaku, it's hard to not worry about her daily school life.

Now I'm getting really curious, I thought. Hopefully I'll have a chance to find out in the future, though she never told me her class number before.


Somehow, deciding whether or not I should join the soccer match led to thinking about Yeonji. I emptied my mind with a violent shake of my head, and refocused on deciding my next destination between the club and the playing field.

One hour couldn't hurt, I decided. Someone else could take over my spot if I had to leave. Even Yeonji shouldn't get too mad at an hour's delay. I'd always been thinking that I haven't been getting enough exercise lately, too.

With that decision, I turned around and began walking--


--into somebody.

"Ah, s-sorry, are you alright?" I apologized. I had carelessly collided into someone while my mind was at a blank state. I hadn't heard her approach at all; I must have been completely out of it at the time.

"...I am fine."

That 'someone' was an unfamiliar girl, with immaculately straightened, red-tinted brown hair that was almost touching her shoulders, and her olive-brown eyes complemented by her noticeably long eyelashes. She was not particularly tall, but enough to be slightly intimidating.

There was a certain, stern atmosphere to her, as if I could relax and go to her for any problems I might have in life, despite being the opposite gender as I. She was a strange girl.

On her chest below her emotionless face was a white name card-- which meant she was a third year student in this school.

'Aw, crap, she's an upperclassman!'

The magnitude of my sorry feeling doubled at that instant.

"S-sorry, Sunbae[1]. I wasn't paying attention and--."

"...I am fine," she repeated, her tone resembling a robot's. I was in pain from that collision myself, yet her voice showed no sign of surprise. "I tend to walk without making any sound. It is not your fault, Mister Injin."

...Mister Injin...?

Weird honorific aside, she called me by my name just there, right?

"Do you... know me?"


Her only reply was a silent stare. An awkward moment passed, leaving me in confusion.

"...How complicated," she muttered.

What's so complicated? If she was referring to the situation she'd created, then sure, it was complicated.

Silence proceeded again, with Sunbae looking like she was attempting to solve the world's greatest mystery. I twiddled my thumbs and stood around for the lack of better things to do.

"...I understand. Mister Injin, if you do not mind, can you turn around for a moment?"


I was taken aback at that request. I wasn't sure how I'd respond.

"It is important for you, too. I beg of you."

"Y-you don't have to beg... L-like this?"

I had no idea why she had asked me to turn around, but I also wasn't too sure about saying "no" to a sunbae who was that insistent. It wasn't exactly difficult to do, anyway.

I turned around and faced away from Sunbae. Then,

"Thank you. Now..."



An unexpected, brutish force struck down the back of my neck as soon as I turned around.

Oh... What would be the best way to put it? I'd say... the closest description would be an extremely dull guillotine blade that made an attempt to slice through the skin of my neck.

With the aforementioned force registered to my neck, I squeaked out a constricted cry of pain.

"Ow... Nnng... ...?"

Frightened, I sluggishly turned my body around. There was the sunbae, holding up a blunt blade that was the side of her hand.

"...How complicated."




Another merciless chop cut through the air, digging into the side of my neck that was exposed from turning around. I felt like I could die.

"Wh-why... ACK!"

"...How complicated. I am terribly sorry."

"N-no, what are you... Waagh..."

"...Quite complicated."

What's so complicated?!

My consciousness finally began to fade out in pain, my questions still echoing in my head.




How long was I out?

Just as I felt my mind return, my drowsiness was immediately chased away by a relentless flood of pain in my neck.


The pain was exponentially worse than waking up in the morning after having slept with my neck twisted one way. Even the simple act of breathing sent a periodic, tidal wave of pain down the back of my neck. Attempting to turn my neck was considerably, unimaginably worse.

My hand jumped and reached for my neck in response, but the effort was fruitless as my hands were tightly held behind my back.

Out of the corners of my eyes, I could see duct tape plastered over my four limbs, constricting me to a wooden chair... Basically, I looked like I was in the most generic hostage scene ever.

...How did this happen? I've never had the displeasure of getting knocked out in my life, but lately, every single day had been giving me a reason to lose consciousness.

The first time was when the nurse gave me that drug, of course; back then, I'd felt like I was in the most life-threatening situation that I could possibly be in. I hoped for my life that this situation wasn't the same deal, if not worse.

I dug through my memory to find any evidence that might help me understand how I got here, but there was none to be found. Not a big surprise, though, considering how my very last memory involved a stranger beating me up out of the blue.

'What is this place?'

I glanced around the area, so quickly that I could hear my eyes roll in their sockets. I couldn't move my neck without feeling like it would snap off, so my eyes had to take on the full workload of looking around.

The first thing I saw was... a colossal display cabinet, lined with anime PVC figures on every row.


...'Wait, what? I don't remember seeing any figures in the boxes that Yeonji brought over. But there's no other place in this school where I'd be seeing something like this, so maybe... Yeonji already expected that I'd be slacking off, so she hired a senior student? ...No way.

So, where am I? Not my school? It looks like some sort of a classroom, but I don't recall there being a classroom like this in Eunsung!'

Then I caught a voice, slipping through my panicked mind, coming from a direction that I couldn't see.

" the end of it," said a familiar voice, "I finally completed this route. To bring tears to my eyes like this-- this is the most brilliant game I have ever played. The music that played during the ending... it was quite moving. Sniff."

Another voice, just as familiar, agreed with the first, "Yes, the company made a fine choice in hiring this music director. The way there was appropriate music for every situation, combined with high quality art, it has a fantastic overall presentation."

"Hm... It was indeed a wise decision to take your advice to play this game! I believe I will continue seeking your advice in the future."

"...I am honored, Madame."

Their surreal dialogue continued for a fair length of time, then it stopped abruptly, followed with a sniffle.

"In any case, is that peasant still deep in slumber?"

"...Yes. I believe I have overdone it. As I've found, it is not all too easy to knock a man out by simple physical trauma to his neck. I believe I took thirteen tries to succeed."

With that kind of monstrous strength, I'm sure it doesn't matter where you hit thirteen times, I'd be knocked out anyway! And when you said something was 'difficult', you were talking about knocking me out?!

I was then sure enough that one of the two was the sunbae who had knocked me out. Their dialogue continued.

"No matter. However, I am not pleased that I have to wait because of your mistake. Could you bring him here in a more delicate way next time?"

"...Did you not instruct me to 'knock him out and bring him here', Madame?"

"I am quite sure that I had said 'bring him here even if it means knocking him out'... I never meant for you to bring him unconscious at all costs. You seem to do this every now and then."

"...I apologize, Madame."

"Darjeeling tea, Madame."

Followed by sunbae's extremely unapologetic voice was another voice that I hadn't heard before. It was hard to tell by voice if it was a boy or a girl.

"Thank you. Miss Sukyong, Mister Yujin, would you care to join me for tea?"

"...It will be my honor."

"Thank you, Madame."

Their conversation promptly stopped with their polite replies. Then I heard the trickling of a small stream of water, twice or so.

I wasn't sure if it was a good thing that their conversation ended early. I felt my entire body shrivel up from their dialogue, so much that I could feel my limbs slip out of the tapes that held me to this chair.

In time, I felt my imploded limbs re-expand to their original size. I returned to being terribly confused as to what my next move should be. My confusion was cut short, however, by the voice of that 'Madame'.

"Good. That is just the right temperature. It is just hot enough to make that peasant squeal and snap awake, no matter how incompetent he is at being awake. Miss Sukyong, why don't you try it out, now that you've mentioned it?"

...What's happening, now?

I was stricken with surprise. I could feel someone getting up and coming closer to me. Unable to contain myself, I quickly yelled, "W-wait! Stop it! I'm awake!"

"...Madame, he says he is awake."

"He may be talking in his sleep. It should be fine to pour it on him anyway. What's your thought, Miss Sukyong?"

"Wait, that's not fine at all!"

Ask me that question, not the person who's doing the pouring!

My neck began hurting again, thanks to my previous outbursts. My face contorted and wrinkled up from the pain.

In front of me, a familiar, blond-haired girl stood, looking down on me. She sneered, "Hmph, how do you feel, Kang... ... What was his name?"

"...Kang Injin, Madame."

"Yes, Kang Injin. Phew-- It is not easy keeping track of some peasant's name."

...Did she forget her pills today or something? She was mildly annoying before, but now she was just pissing me off.

"You... You're Eun Yerin, right?"

The blonde-haired one out of the comedy duo was, without a doubt, the same girl I had met yesterday; the same girl who was also the granddaughter of the C.E.O of Eunsung Corporations, as I've found out from Yeonji. Asking that single question to her took a great deal of effort, having to overcome my fear for Eunsung.

"To speak of my noble name with a lowly peasant's mouth... Do you wish to die?" threatened Yerin, glaring down with her bright, blue eyes.

"...Not at all."

'At this rate, there's going to be a civilian casualty for every class attendance checks,' I mumbled to myself, venting my frustrations.

Yerin further continued her arrogant lecture, "Hmph, I will forgive you this time. In the future, refer to me as 'Lady Yerin', or 'Madame', or 'Mistress Yerin' or 'mistress'. 'Mistress Yerin' is too lengthy, on second thought."

She couldn't bother to make it easy to call her damn name.

Leaving me helplessly distraught, Yerin calmly brushed her golden hair over with her hand.

"Miss Sukyong, bring the chair over."

A big... an unnecessarily big chair was placed in front of me, on which Eun Yerin sat like a single feather floating gently down. Two more people appeared and stood around the chair as if to guard her.


Noticing who the two were, I sharply inhaled. One of the two people who stood next to Yerin was indeed the same third-year sunbae from before, but-- how should I say this-- her overall image looked vastly different than before, as if I were looking at an alteration, no, a mockery of the original.

Simply said, she was in a French maid outfit.

On her head was a white, frilly headband, her black dress padded around her shoulders, its front obscured by a frilly apron-- all details that made her outfit an unmistakeable maid outfit. Her shoulder-length hair was tied back into a ponytail, and even her leather boots were strangely but perfectly complementing sunbae's looks.

Seeing a maid-- I mean, seeing a girl in a maid's outfit is already quite the experience, but seeing it here in South Korea, in a school in the middle of Seoul?

And beside her was a... boy... in a butler's outfit. Contrasting the maid with an emotionless face, he -- or she, whichever was the person -- was smiling brightly in an outfit resembling a tuxedo.

If he's a boy, he could be called a Bishonen. If she's a girl, she could be called a Bishojo. Either way, the ambiguity made me slightly uncomfortable.

An emotionless maid and a cheerful butler.

With two art show display escapees by her side, Eun Yerin sat with her legs crossed, staring. My focus helplessly wavered at the sight of her plump, white thighs moving about.

Yerin began speaking in (futile attempts to make) an elegant, dramatic tone, "I am sure you have much to ask."

"Uh... yeah."

My starting question was about this blatant kidnapping happening in this law-fearing land. Why not let me talk without having to do all this?

"No, that won't do. You're my important witness. I cannot let you go that easily," mocked Yerin. What am I a witness for? The number of questions I wanted to ask grew exponentially every second. "Firstly... right. Do you not want to know what this place is? I am sure you are curious what this place is, after being brought here in such a manner."

At least she wasn't utterly oblivious of the fact that I was brought here by force. Since she seemed eager to be asked that question, I complied. "Okay, where is this place?"

"Fufufu-, good question. This is my 'Moe Research Club', also known as 'MoeRe!'"


Even if you sound so proud of yourself when you say that, I can't really share that sentiment when the name of the club is the most mind-numbing, embarrassing name ever.

I remember Yeonji saying that she had 'some weird club' back when she described Yerin, so I suppose that was the Moe Research Club. What the hell do they 'research' around here?!

Clearly not minding my pained grunts from my limbs curling inward once more, Yerin looked around the room, the 'MoeRe', with nostalgic eyes.

"Phew... Yes, MoeRe, the club that I have created and managed ever since the start of middle school... Looking back, I had many memories with this club. I was very happy when this club was officially recognized and given this club room."

Wait, they let this club become official? With this name?!

"Well, I do very much regret that our club's name could not be on the school's website, all because of the principal kneeling down and begging me to not do so. However, I have no doubts that I lived my life to the fullest in the past three years."

...This is my first time feeling sorry for the principal.

And, judging from what she had said, it seemed that I was in Eunsung Middle School. I did have a feeling that the buildings seemed familiar yet new at the same time.

"However," muttered Yerin, looking teary-eyed, "Even I cannot continue using a middle school classroom, when I am a high school student now. Unfortunately, this is no longer a place we can use."

"...You're using it just fine, if you ask me."

Used for torture and kidnapping of a high school student, I must add.

"B-be quiet! Hmph. We are already in the process of transitioning our MoeRe to the high school. Until then, this room can remain as it is!" roared Yerin, raising her eyebrows. Really, she thinks the world revolves around her. "Nonetheless, I brought you here to demand 'that' from you!"

"What do you mean, 'that'?" I asked, confused.

Yerin cast a cold, disapproving glance with her blue eyes. She shouted, "I have already told you, we are moving our old club to a new place within the high school! You ignorant peasant!"

"What about it...?"

I don't care if you find a room or rob it from someone, I'm quite sure someone like you could take the principal's room like Yeonji wanted to! Have fun with that 82-inch flat-screen television or something. Why is this 'MoeRe' stuff related to me at all?

Yerin answered shakily, "Because... The room I wanted as my new club room was the infirmary!"


I felt my heart sink. You mean, Yeonji wasn't the only crazy one who thinks the infirmary is an amazing place for a club?!

"I have already seen the little back room in the infirmary. Its size is not to my liking, but that can be forgiven."

Forgive who, now?

In the midst of indulging in her own words, Yerin suddenly furrowed her brows.

"But there is a problem! The owner of the infirmary, that nurse, would not accept my official request to use the room! I clearly followed correct procedures, forms, and rules!"

It sounded like she handed in her request right after our Clotaku Club was established. Although, considering that lazy nurse, it wouldn't be a surprise if she denied it regardless of the order.

As I nodded to myself in silence, Yerin continued wailing, "The only reason she gave me was that 'the room is in use by someone else'... How dare she deny me so without giving me a proper reason! This cannot stand!"

The nurse was probably troubled, too. She couldn't exactly tell her 'this room is owned by the Clotaku Club'.

...Oh. Then, the reason she kidnapped me is... because she found out about the Clotaku Club?!

Sweat began to drop from my forehead.

I was dealing with someone who isn't afraid to knock out and kidnap someone who she had met for less than a day. It should be an easy task for her to ask around in the mean time and find out everything about the Clotaku Club. Not to mention how suspicious she became the last time we've met.

B-but what's the point of kidnapping me, then? What is she going to get out of interrogating me?

Seeing the nervous expression on my face, Yerin mocked, "Heh... It seems you now realize why you are here. Yes, it was my second time requesting the nurse when I met you there."

"Oh no..."

My heart began racing.

"Yesterday, you were most certainly hiding something underneath the bed sheet. As if... it was something that you absolutely could not show me."

I knew I had been found out! Damn, I looked way too obvious, didn't I?

My face reddened in embarrassment, causing Yerin to gain more confidence in her words.

"And after school, Miss Sukyong reported in that you walked out of the infirmary with a little girl. Fufu, you never thought you were being watched, yes?"


Was that why I had a strange feeling on my back when I went home?

Every word that Yerin spoke pushed me closer to the edge of a cliff. Sweat dripped down my face rapidly.

Yerin continued, now in a more serious tone, "You were hiding something when we first met. Then there was a little girl accompanying you out of the infirmary, and then the fact that the nurse would not hand over the room... With these three facts, I have reached a single conclusion!"


Sh-she's surprisingly smart! I can't believe she managed to figure out the existence of our club from just that... I guess she's still a student of Eunsung, even if she's a bit crazy!

This was to be expected of Eunsung Corporation's--

"Yes, Kang Injin! I know that you are using the infirmary as a place for indecent, sexual relationships!"

-- complete idiot.

"Whaaat thee heeelll aaarree youu saaaayiiiing---?!!"

I screamed with all my might in the face of a complete logical failure. Yerin briefly looked bewildered by my outburst, but quickly regained her composure.

"You are denying it? Do not think you can lie your way out of this one. Yesterday, was it not the naked body of that little girl in the bed with you?"

"You jumped the gun so far, I don't even know what to say to that!"

Even if she's right about Yeonji being small enough! All I was hiding was just a bunch of Otaku goodies! Problem is, I can't say that, either!

With my brain unable to form another word, I remained quiet. Yerin shot a contemptuous glare in response.

"Hmph... You appear to have been dumbfounded by my perfect logic! I was suspicious since you were breathing like a beast on that bed... but to think you were actually committing such lewd misdeeds!"

Breathing like a beast?! I was just scared that I'd be found out that I'm an Otaku!

"I do not know what kind of relationship you have with the nurse, but I will not allow you to continue using the infirmary for such dirty, indecent acts! If you do not leave the infirmary and hand over the club room, I will report your actions to the school board."

A bloodbath would be inevitable if I don't hand the club room over... seemed to be the gist.

Whether or not I've ever done anything lewd with Yeonji, the severity of this situation was going to get amazingly complex if she were to report us to the student council. On top of that, as a relative to the director of this school, she could easily blame us for anything she could think of.

From what she said, she must have been firmly believing that Yeonji and I were all this and that. To dissolve that nonsense...

...I'd have to reveal the Clotaku Club to her--! My thought process did a 360' and ended up straight back in the original problem. The misunderstanding kept the secret of the Clotaku Club, but to reveal the Clotaku Club was the only way to stop the misunderstanding.

Oh, god damn it all to hell, and whatnot.

I felt miserable knowing that there wasn't a single good option that could get me out. Noticing my sorry state, Yerin became extra confident.

"Now, do it! Give your personal agreement to give up the infirmary, in writing! Then I will forgive you just this once!"

I'll go ahead and use the 'Ask the Audience' lifeline... What, I don't have any lifelines left? W-wait, I can't make this decision on my own! It's not going to make any difference if I say that you can have the room, Yeonji isn't even going to flinch at that! She'd just murder everyone in this room before she says yes herself!

It would have been nice to use Yeonji's hot-headed way of negotiating, but nothing in the world is there for you when you need it. I was about to call Yeonji to discuss my next move.

...Except that I don't know her number.

"Hmph! Your secrets have been revealed to me, and you still believe you have a chance? Miss Sukyong, call the student council immediately."

"...Yes, Madame."

Sunbae, in her maid outfit, pulled out a phone. Wow, that's the newest smartphone from--... I mean, wait! Stop! What are you doing?

"Heh, if you want her to stop, I'm sure you have something to tell us first!"

"Just ssstttttooooooppp-!! I'll explain everything!"

I ended up explaining everything.

* * *


After giving up and telling her about the existence of Clotaku Club, Yerin became furious.

"I cannot believe it! This is a challenge to our name!"

It's not.

"Our three-year-old tradition called 'MoeRe' is still alive and well, and these impudent peasants create their own club? And they called it 'Clotaku Club'? This is an obvious attack on my honor!"

It's really not, I'm telling you! Do you really think we're so bored that all we do for fun is try to bring you down?!

Sadly, because Yerin was having her fit of rage, my words remained echoing within my head. Yerin chewed on her pink lips in anger as if to rip them out.

"'Clotaku Club', where closeted Otakus meet...? Absolute nonsense! Doing such things while I am still in this school... I... I will destroy that puny club!"

Aw, man... did it really come down to this?

Yerin continued her drama-filled tirade, her arms spread out and raised like a prophet giving a sermon. She was visibly full of energy, as if every strand of her wavy, golden hair was coursing with vigorous spirit. Though unfortunately, that energy was pointed directly at our club.

Also, how did she plan on destroying the club? Was she going to make the principal give some special order, like 'ur all banned, kthxbai'?

"What do you take me for? I do not condone such dirty tactics!" replied Yerin to my question, her feelings hurt. "This school is not big enough for the two of our clubs! You dared to make yourselves the Otaku club of Eunsung High School, so is it not our duty to prove whose club deserves to stay? Through the powers of MoeRe and mine!"

...So what were they doing then? I still had no clue what they were asking for.

"Of course, this calls for..."

"An Otaku showdown!"

The doors to the Moe Research Club burst open.

Continuing Yerin's words with extreme volume, a tiny shadow emerged into the room through the open doors.

"...Seo Yeonji?"

I was stunned.

I mean, yeah, I could have been in a far more terrible spot if Yeonji hadn't joined, but I was still surprised that she showed up here at all. But you could have picked a better time to enter, you know!

"H-hey, how did you get here?"

"By your scent... but seriously," joked Yeonji, after I asked her what Yerin and co. should have, "You took such a long time to get to the club, so I asked around, and I heard there was some boy getting dragged to the middle school by a girl. Considering what we talked about yesterday, I thought you would be here; just about everyone who's been to the middle school knows about this club."

So I've been dragged around the floor, huh...

"Anyway," said Yeonji, facing away from my scrunched-up face and looking at Yerin, "If you want to talk about our Clotaku Club, you talk to me, buddy. The president of the club is me, Seo Yeonji! You got something to say to me?!"

"You? The president of Clotaku Club?"

Yerin cocked her eyes, unwilling to believe her. She probably thought I was the head of the club, seeing how Yeonji doesn't look like the head type of a person.

"Hmph... what a bad joke. The reckless leader of the Clotaku Club who dares to oppose me is a little girl, who's as tall as my thumb! Your name was... Seo Umji[2]?"

"It's Seo Yeonji!" shouted Yeonji.

Yerin brushed her golden hair aside and said, "A peasant's name is not important. ...Nevertheless, it seems I will have to teach you who owns the superior Otaku club."

"Hmph, likewise!"

...Please don't teach anything like that to each other.

The two angrily glared at each other, their heads angled appropriately to compensate for their massive difference in height. Their glares met, one from eyes as blue as a clear lake, and the other from crystal, jet black eyes.

Yeonji muttered, looking like a cat with her fur puffed out, "Even before today, I always knew I would have to confront you sooner or later. It was inevitable anyway, so I'm going to take you down here and now!"

"You're as pitiful as a tiny chick that just burst out of its egg... But lions do their very best even when hunting a fragile rabbit. Sorry, but I will do my best to crush you!"

Hey, hey, hey...

"You two keep talking about bringing each other down... What are you two planning on doing?"

""We'll have an Otaku showdown!""

The two answered at the same time. A moment passed with the two scowling at each other.

"Between our Clotaku Club and MoeRe, we'll see which club has the higher power level!"

"This is Eunsung, South Korea's greatest school! Any Otaku club that belongs to this school must have the land's greatest power level! After we decide whose club is the better one, the loser forfeits their life to the winner!"

...Do you guys usually bet your life over something as trivial as this?

I looked to the ceiling and sighed, my body still firmly tied down onto a chair.

Ignoring the two's exchange of hate-filled glares, I asked unenergetically, "About that 'Otaku showdown', how are you two going to compete at all?"

Yeonji and Yerin both answered at the same time again,

""Obviously, it's the Otaku Word Chain!""

Huh, they're surprisingly well coordinated.

1. 'Sunbae': Identical usage to 'senpai' in this situation; the word is used to refer to an upperclassman here.
2. 'Umji' means 'thumb' in Korean.


Leave a comment if you want to voice your thoughts/thanks~